Cheap Romance It's been a long time since I made anyone jealous. Friday, I stopped by the grocery to get a few things. Standing in the checkout line I felt the envious glances, I saw the "Please, Help Me" eyes staring from shell-shocked faces.
Friday night is when the young marrieds with kids do their weekly stock up. And here I was, still in my business suit buying Swiss chard, Manchego cheese, and eight lemons. My order came to $9.26. All around me parents with young children were tallying up orders with those big value packs of paper towels, washing machine sized boxes of diapers, and sugar coated Yukky-os. They had no mercy. They didn't care that I'd been there with my own, now teenaged children. All they could see was a well-dressed man, purchasing adult food, without a young child screaming for a (IT)Finding Nemo candy bar.
Now, I won't tell you I didn't feel a little superior. To them I was a Supermarket Hef, an International Man of Leisure. They didn't have to know I was going to make lemon squares. Let them think that somewhere tonight firm, well-tanned bodies were enjoying a few forbidden Mojitos--in a house without sticky doorknobs.
Perhaps, I'd open that bottle of 1985 Andre Passat Cote Rotie priced $34.99 (blooming fruit with tobacco, smoky clove, cranberry, and persimmon), I thought to myself.
Then I saw her.
She wasn't beautiful, but had that warm, vulnerable quality that makes your heart melt. She had three young kids. And her face lit up as she answered her cell--her husband calling from a business trip. They talked lovingly amid the dairy aisle. That was the beginning of International Man of Leisure's newest mission. Bringing on an evening of romance amid the strollers and toys.
By Friday night I don't want to make any decisions. I even let the deli clerk pick whatever he feels like slicing. So here are a few easy suggestions for a relaxing evening at home.
Usually parents with young children get about an hour of free time after the kids are in bed before they fall asleep, too. So here's Quick Fun Cheap Evenings.
The Classic Musical
Rent or borrow an old movie. I like South Pacific. It's got good music and the plot is World War II. My suggested snack beyond microwave popcorn would be; boiled scallops wrapped in bacon with a slice of fresh ginger and pineapple. Boil, fry, slice, wrap, and serve in 12 minutes.
Wine: 2002 Mills Reef, Hawkes Bay New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. Tropical fruit and tapioca taste notes, tannic with a bite of dandelion greens. $14.99
Other Movies: (Chicago, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hairspray, The Seven Year Itch, The Music Man
Fireside SymphonyPut on a DVD or tape or album or whatever. Light a fire and make Raclette, which is simply a wedge of Raclette Cheese planked on a wooden cutting board and toasted near the fire until melted. Then spread the melted cheese onto baguette-style bread. Use the oven if you're like me and don't have a fireplace. Pretend you're in your dorm room eating aerosol Cheez Whiz off a Ritz Cracker.
Music: Sinatra, Bobby Darin, Billy Holiday, Dave Matthews, Joan Armatrading, REM, Grover Dill, The Corrs, any aria of Maria Callas
Wine: Arano Amarone Valpolicella A rich, port-like wine that will accent the cheese and go very well with Lindt Chocolate for dessert. Tastes of currants from the outdoor drying before the Crush. $14.99
Comedy Night
Laughter's the medicine so rent The Wrong Guy, a sleeper comedy starring Dave Foley. It's so stupid, it's hilarious. Snack suggestion: warm honey roasted peanuts and maple syrup served over vanilla ice cream.
Wine: Domaine St. Michelle Cuvee Brut, Washington State Sparkling Wine. Light and ethereal with a kiss of ginger and lemon. $13.99
Other Movies: Monty Python's The Holy Grail, Dr Strangelove, Some Like It Hot, Young Frankenstein, American Pie, and Animal House.